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Wednesday 24 May 2017

Satire

Shorten Claims Poll Lead

Stefan Di Marco Tuesday 27 October 2015




OPPOSITION leader Bill Shorten standing with voters has hit new highs, enjoying popularity not seen since his union days.

Latest poll figures reveal Mr Shorten’s personal support at 75% compared to Malcolm Turnbull’s at just 25%

The poll is a stunning, even miraculous, turnaround for the Opposition leader leaving many to question the unexpected resurgence.

Mr Shorten has denied any deals were done with the pollsters nor that any person polled is worse off.

“If any money changed hands, then it had nuffink to do wiv me. And even if it did have somefink to do wiv me it would be the best fink for Australia,” the Opposition leader explained.

Mr Shorten said it was ’normal business’ that benefitted everyone for him to be be leading in the polls.

“Nobody wants a self made, successful, clever, charming, cultured man for Prime Minister when they can have me,” he said. “Any done deal was done for the right reasons not that I’m saying a deal was done.”

Some analysts have questioned the validity of the poll, however Newzpoll released data showing polling was done randomly from a broad cross section of the ALP caucus and the CFMEU.